Driven to insanity and losing your sanity. Which is right?
Do you start out with a bar (think lifebar/healthbar) of sanity, and, when you lose it all, you are insane? You are either born with a full bar, or you somehow gain it when you are a child. Things that happen to you slowly chip the bar away and finally, once it's all gone, you've lost your sanity and declared insane.
Or do you have an empty bar that you slowly fill and once it's full, you are insane? Things that happen to you make you a little bit more insane. Once you've filled that bar, you're declared totally insane.
This may sound like a glass half-full/half-empty question, but I somehow thinks this matters. If it's case 1, then should we hold onto our sanity, taking care of it like a little child? Or do the cases not matter at all? Everything is just relative, I'm just thinking too much, the world is going to end, none of this matter.
Maybe.
I noticed lately that I am like a people magnet. The kind that attracts, not repel. It's strange how, in a classroom of 30 or so people, some people feel the need to set their eyes on me instead of any of the remaining 28, walk all the way across the room and converse with me instead. What's weirder is the people I "attract" are people that I wouldn't consider hanging out with, at least, conciously. I find that all of them to be either anime nerds or slightly socially awkward, or both. I can't help but think that they are reflections of who I really am, and it's scary. I don't want to be associated with those things anymore, but those are the only people at school that will talk to me without me initiating a conversation.
Hopefully this will change once I get to college. Not that I am really looking forward to it. The Freshmen Orientation is in a couple of months.
Today was senior ditch day.
And nobody told me. D: I feel so unpopular.
To compensate, my economics teacher rickrolled us whenever he had the chance and asked if Together Forever is better than Never Gonna Give You Up. I say that goes against the core principals of Rickroll.
I am not that different.
I am a compilation, a collage, a mixture of all the high school clique stereotypes.
Emo, the desperate attempt to look different from everyone else by dressing in all black, wearing collars and cuffs, keys and locks. The depressed, or, at least faking it somewhat. The self-destructive, self-loathing.
Nerd, the geeks with the brains. Identifying with the academic records. Indulging in books and useless facts
Cool, the popular side. The bold, standing out from the crowd. The fashion-concious.
Wannabes. Trying to be the popular ones, trying to fit in, trying but failing.
Otakus. Big on anime and all things Japanese.
Outsiders. The socially-awkward with a bad sense of humor.
I am not that different.
But so what, and what am I?
I have to write this down somewhere, or I'll forget it, or worse, treat it as a figment of my imagination. Skip the first three paragraphs if you're the tl;dr type because that is all irrelevant background stuff. Actually, just skip the whole entry if you're the tl;dr type.
When I was in Hong Kong, I used to go to a community center afterschool because both of my parents worked and couldn't take care of me when I get out of school at 12. One time the volunteers there (usually 20-somethings) wanted to put up a play in the streets to promote something. I really have no clue what the play was about. I just remembered that one guy had a guitar and the other girl had a piano, so I guess there was singing.
Anyway, somehow, me and two other girls were recruited to play a part in it. At 5 or so in the afternoon, we would all cram into a tiny room to rehearse, but most of the time I just listened to the tapes of rehearsal because I had to leave early.
On the day of the play, we set up everything. The play took place opposite of a market (not supermarket, but an actual, out in the open market) and close to a train station exit. We ate lunch at a nearby restaurant before going up. I think we had a dry-run before we did it for real.
Hong Kong, it is very common for people to pick their own English name, much like how people here pick Spanish names for their Spanish class, even though this tends to result in girls picking the most insanely cute names for themselves. I remember the guy volunteer in the play was named Patrick, and the girl volunteer was Fanny. Perhaps for the same reason, they felt the need to give me and the two other girls English names for our characters and had us make posters with our names on them.
The first girl got Apple. Her poster had the word APPLE on it along with a picture of an apple.
The second girl got Banana. Her poster had the word BANANA on it along with a picture of a banana. She also got some laughs because when she opened the poster it was upside-down.
The third girl, me, got...*drumroll* COOKIE! Apparently they couldn't think of a fruit that starts with C and went for the cute factor. My poster, obviously, had the word COOKIE on it along with a picture of a cookie, which is just a brown circle with smaller, dark brown circles.
They could have just went with Jasmine, which is my actual "English" name in Hong Kong, since my aunt was a Jasmine too.
So what's the point with all this? I don't know. But it's just to show all these other possible names I could have been stuck with. Jasmine doesn't suit me much. It's all elegant and princessy. I think I'll stick with Miki for now. It's cute and sporty. But, from now on, for IIDX purposes, I'll be...DJ COOKIE.
You know you want it.
Sliced bagette with peaches and lemon glaze (not really a glaze, but just lemon juice mixed with sugar and butter then heated).
Good:>
Peaches are awesome. Bread is awesome. Peaches on bread is ultra awesome.
The lemon juice tastes really good on the bread.
This at least got me out of my chair.
Bad:<
Some peach slices were too thick and I couldn't fit the whole thing in my mouth.
At the end, I had left over glaze so I poured it over everything. Way too sour.
8 slices and one whole peach. Way too much for a snack.
2008 is the Year of the Rat. Which animal year were you born in?
The horse. Ironically I can't run very fast and have short legs.
Happy Chinese New Year~ Because nothing is awesomer than a holiday where you get money and can't buy shoes for 15 days.
Since SVGL got DDR Supernova 2, I decided to stop by afterschool today for a hot dog and a game. It was pretty nice, actually. Lots of listenable songs and the charts aren't that hard. I may actually play more and practice my PAing. I've only AAed like, two songs and I haven't been able to get them again anymore. The timing seems loose enough for it to be feasible for me.
Anyway, I was wearing this really thick sweater since it was cold this morning, and after three songs, I felt like I was wrapped in layers of blankets. I knew I was sweating more than usual and it felt very stuffy. So on my way home, I took my sweater off, and since I wasn't wearing anything underneath, I decided to cover myself with my jacket. Half way home I was still sweating like a fat kid on a treadmill, so I just took off my jacket.
Driving home shirtless in the middle of winter and watching the rain hit the rainshield is, simply, an amazing experience.
on Check out my field.